Adultery: No Longer Shameful?

From http://el-paso.ucg.org/  or call 1-888-886-8632.

Adultery: No Longer Shameful?

article by Melvin Rhodes





What does habitual and rampant adultery tell us about a person and a nation?



Sordid scandals among the elite of society have dominated the news lately in several countries. It seems that extramarital relationships and political power go together. Some politicians abuse their position by taking sexual advantage of others. However, their supposed victims are not always blameless. To be able to boast of a relationship with a famous figure appeals to their vanity.



As King Solomon was inspired to write 3,000 years ago, "there is nothing new under the sun" (Ecclesiastes 1:9The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun.



See All...). Solomon was an authority on having multiple bed partners; the Bible tells us that he had 700 wives and 300 concubines (1 Kings 11:3And he had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines: and his wives turned away his heart.



See All...).



Solomon might have excused himself by claiming that he was only following the lead of other monarchs in the Middle East at the time for whom multiple wives and concubines were a sign of status and prestige. But he should have known better. After all, he had access to the true God. The Bible also tells us that Solomon's pursuit of many women of various religions led to idolatry and "turned away his heart" from God.



More recently King Charles II of Great Britain (1660-85) was publicly known as a philanderer. He left illegitimate heirs, but no children to take the throne. Charles had apparently been influenced by the French court of Louis XIV. Like most European monarchs at the time, "Louis lived an atheist and died a Catholic" (Durant, The Age of Louis XIV ). Religion was not taken seriously, and deathbed repentances were common.



In contrast, Queen Victoria (1837-1901) was a pillar of rectitude. She was a committed family woman, remaining faithful to Prince Albert and not even remarrying after his death. But her son and successor earned a dubious reputation.



Some American presidents have not set a good example of fidelity. A 19th-century president was known to have had a mistress and an illegitimate child. Recent revelations show that more-recent presidents have indulged in extramarital relationships.



Some would say that the only difference between then and now is the publicity given today's leaders. Back then the press kept quiet. As part of an unpoken gentlemen's agreement, reporters did not betray the dalliances of politicians, princes or kings.



An Age-old Temptation

Adultery is nothing new. Nor is prostitution, commonly referred to as the world's oldest profession. Throughout the ages men (with the complicity of women) have tried to justify sex outside of marriage, sometimes even to legalize it.



The early theologian Augustine, who fought a long personal battle with sexual temptation, taught that the woman was the criminal when it came to adultery, the man being a mere accomplice.



How should we view public morality? Some think that affairs should be a politician's private business.



Should society turn a blind eye to sexual shenanigans in high places? Certainly we shouldn't clamor for every lurid detail. The apostle Paul admonishes us in Philippians 4:8 to think on "whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things."



This advice would preclude Christians from focusing their attention on the seamier side of life and gossip about the rich and famous.



But it still matters. Adultery always matters. Whether the adulterer is John Doe, a king or a president, adultery matters and adultery is always wrong.



What Does God's Word Say?

Politicians and the public may have varying definitions of adultery. But adultery, by biblical definition, is the violation of the marriage contract by either or both partners in the marriage through sexual activity with a third person. The commandment against adultery should be understood to include fornication (sexual relations before marriage), incest and male and female homosexual practices, all of which are outlawed in the Bible.



Adultery is considered such a serious sin by Almighty God that its prohibition constitutes one of the Ten Commandments. Our Creator says: "You shall not commit adultery" (Exodus 20:14Thou shalt not commit adultery.



See All...; Deuteronomy 5:18Neither shalt thou commit adultery.



See All...).



God was and is serious about this sin. In ancient Israel people who committed adultery suffered capital punishment (Leviticus 20:10And the man that committeth adultery with another man's wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbour's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.



See All...). Adultery is described as an abomination in God's eyes (verse 13).



It is interesting that, whereas some may feel that any sexual activity short of intercourse is not a sin, the Scriptures show us that anything involving "uncovering nakedness"—for the purpose of sexual misbehavior—is a sin (Leviticus 18:6-19 [6] None of you shall approach to any that is near of kin to him, to uncover their nakedness: I am the LORD.

[7] The nakedness of thy father, or the nakedness of thy mother, shalt thou not uncover: she is thy mother; thou shalt not uncover her nakedness.

[8] The nakedness of thy father's wife shalt thou not uncover: it is thy father's nakedness.

[9] The nakedness of thy sister, the daughter of thy father, or daughter of thy mother, whether she be born at home, or born abroad, even their nakedness thou shalt not uncover.

[10] The nakedness of thy son's daughter, or of thy daughter's daughter, even their nakedness thou shalt not uncover: for theirs is thine own nakedness.

[11] The nakedness of thy father's wife's daughter, begotten of thy father, she is thy sister, thou shalt not uncover her nakedness.

[12] Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy father's sister: she is thy father's near kinswoman.

[13] Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy mother's sister: for she is thy mother's near kinswoman.

[14] Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy father's brother, thou shalt not approach to his wife: she is thine aunt.

[15] Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy daughter in law: she is thy son's wife; thou shalt not uncover her nakedness.

[16] Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy brother's wife: it is thy brother's nakedness.

[17] Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of a woman and her daughter, neither shalt thou take her son's daughter, or her daughter's daughter, to uncover her nakedness; for they are her near kinswomen: it is wickedness.

[18] Neither shalt thou take a wife to her sister, to vex her, to uncover her nakedness, beside the other in her life time.

[19] Also thou shalt not approach unto a woman to uncover her nakedness, as long as she is put apart for her uncleanness.





See All...). Jesus Christ went so far as to say that even desiring to interact sexually with someone other than your marriage partner is a sin (Matthew 5:28But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.



See All...).



Deeper Dimensions

When we take time to look at the Ten Commandments more closely, we see that in principle committing adultery is not just breaking the Seventh Commandment. James 2:10For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all.



See All... reminds us that "whoever shall keep the whole law, and yet stumble in one point, he is guilty of all."



It's no good blaming it on somebody else, either. The same apostle also wrote that "each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death" (James 1:14-15 [14] But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed.

[15] Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.





See All...).



Earlier in the same chapter James, the Lord's brother, said that "blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love him" (verse 12).



Clearly, the matter is serious. Like breaking any of the Ten Commandments, committing adultery endangers our happiness and jeopardizes our eternal salvation (Romans 6:23For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.



See All...).



But why is it so important to God?



Adultery is an issue that comes down to character. God wants us to "be perfect" (Matthew 5:48Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.



See All...), even as He is perfect. God is love (1 John 4:8He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.



See All...). It is essential therefore that we learn to love as God loves. God's love is completely selfless, not selfish. God's love is concern toward others. He does not want to hurt anyone (Isaiah 11:9They shall not hurt nor destroy in all my holy mountain: for the earth shall be full of the knowledge of the LORD, as the waters cover the sea.



See All...). He gave His law to protect us and those around us from harm's way.



God is vitally concerned about our happiness and wants us to have lasting, loving relationships rather than pursue self-gratification at the expense of others. Breaking God's law, or any one of His commandments, results in hurt and pain for all involved—even the one who might get some temporary pleasure from sin (Hebrew 11:25).



In contrast to what God says, illicit love affairs are often depicted in a favorable light in films and other entertainment media . Not only do the purveyors of popular culture neglect to focus on the dark side of adultery as an act of betrayal of the marriage vows, but they often overlook the dire consequences that follow.



Jonathan Rauch, correspondent for The National Journal in Washington, D.C., observed that "adultery represents a serious problem for society as well as individuals on a variety of levels. Society has a strong interest in binding people together into long-term couples. Marriage civilizes and settles men (especially younger men), promotes secure homes for children, helps achieve economic stability for both partners, ensures that everyone has somebody to look after him or her in times of ill health. To serve these functions marriages must be durable."



But today's casual acceptance of adultery is the archenemy of long-lasting marriages.



Many Sins Involved

Breaking the Seventh Commandment is a character issue. Not only has the guilty party broken the marriage vow, but he or she has allowed another person came before God—thereby also breaking the First and Second Commandments.



This sinful, shameful act also shows no respect for parents and in-laws who also suffer when adultery is committed—thereby breaking the Fifth Commandment (Exodus 20:12Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.



See All...).



The Eighth Commandment has also been broken in that the affection, love and trust of someone else's spouse was stolen (verse 15).



And the Ninth Commandment is also broken because lying and deceit are involved (verse 16).



We see that at least six of the Ten Commandments are broken in adulterous acts—sometimes more, if the sinful act should lead to murder (verse 13) or taking God's name in vain (verse 7), which can be done when people try to justify their sin.



Adultery's Consequences

How can any adulterer ever be trusted on any issue? If so many of God's Ten Commandments are broken when adultery is committed, then adultery is a major trust factor. The guilty party has lost the trust of others, not just that of his wife or her husband.



As Jonathan Rauch put it: "An adulterer is a missile with many warheads, capable of wrecking a series of homes." How tragically true. Adultery has a wide-ranging ripple effect. It often leads to divorce, which in turn divides families. Not only are the husband and wife affected, but the children, any grandchildren, parents on both sides and even society at large.



A recent British survey on the reasons for divorce showed that adultery was the biggest reason by far, contributing to 31 percent of divorces ( The Daily Mail, Jan. 26). Also, in Britain "it's an uncomfortable fact that 50 percent of divorced and separated fathers lose contact with their children after just two years" ( Independent on Sunday, Feb. 15). No wonder Malachi 2:16For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.



See All... says that God hates divorce.



The verse continues with a strong warning to our nations: "Divorce ... covers one's garments with violence." Much of the violence in our society is the direct result of broken homes—often broken as a consequence of adultery.



God cared enough for Israel's greatest king that, after his act of adultery, which in turn led to deceit and murder, He sent the prophet Nathan to King David to help him face up to his sin and repent of it. "Why have you despised the commandment of the Lord, to do evil in His sight? You have killed Uriah the Hittite with the sword; you have taken his wife to be your wife ..."



The result? "Now therefore, the sword shall never depart from your house, because you have despised Me, and have taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your wife" (2 Samuel 12:9-10 [9] Wherefore hast thou despised the commandment of the LORD, to do evil in his sight? thou hast killed Uriah the Hittite with the sword, and hast taken his wife to be thy wife, and hast slain him with the sword of the children of Ammon.

[10] Now therefore the sword shall never depart from thine house; because thou hast despised me, and hast taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be thy wife.





See All...). Adultery has consequences that can last for generations.



No Exemptions to God's Commands

Not only politicians are guilty. Others who hold high office have fallen victim to this sin. This sadly includes religious leaders, who know better. They know the Word of God but sometimes fall into the trap of rationalizing that their supposed special relationship with God somehow protects or exempts them from the consequences of sin.



God doesn't see it that way. "The wages of sin is death," He inspired the apostle Paul to write (Romans 6:23For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.



See All...). And "God shows no partiality" (Acts 10:34Then Peter opened his mouth, and said, Of a truth I perceive that God is no respecter of persons:



See All...).



The same apostle listed the qualifications of a minister in his first epistle to the evangelist Timothy: "A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife ..." (1 Timothy 3:2A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach;



See All...). Adulterers should not be ordained to the ministry, and adultery is grounds for expulsion from the ministry. Ministers "must have a good testimony among those who are outside [of the church], lest [they] fall into reproach and the snare of the devil" (verse 7).



This is not to say that those who have committed adultery cannot repent and be forgiven. When the woman caught in the act of adultery (John 8) was brought before Jesus by religious zealots who wanted to see the full penalty of death carried out immediately, Jesus defended her by turning to her accusers and saying, "He who is without sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first" (verse 7).



Because no one was willing to self-righteously proclaim that he was without sin, everyone walked away. Then Jesus turned to the woman and said, "Go and sin no more" (verse 11). Although He defended her, He did not defend her sin, and He unequivocally told her never to sin again.



To those who have committed the sin of adultery, this passage should be encouraging. Jesus Christ paid the penalty for all human sin—but, on repentance, it is absolutely essential to cease the practice completely.



This is more easily said than done. Some have a habitual sexual addiction on a par with heroin or alcohol abuse. The sinner often needs help from others. The ministry or reliable and trusted personal friends can be of inestimable help, but in stubborn cases competent professional assistance should also be sought.



No one caught in the grip of sexual addiction should hesitate to seek help. Calling for assistance is a solid sign of a repentant attitude and a sincere desire to overcome. Those who are called on for assistance should never look down on anyone genuinely seeking help nor betray a confidence (Galatians 6:1-2 [1] Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.

[2] Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.





See All...).



Repentance Requires Change

Here lies good advice for anyone caught in the sin of adultery, even prominent people in our society. When this sinful act has been committed, trust has suffered. If that trust is to be regained, sincere repentance must be in evidence, as was the case with King David (2 Samuel 12:13And David said unto Nathan, I have sinned against the LORD. And Nathan said unto David, The LORD also hath put away thy sin; thou shalt not die.



See All...). "A broken and a contrite heart—these, O God, You will not despise"—a quote from verse 17 of David's heartbroken prayer of repentance (Psalm 51).



Although world and national leaders may follow in the footsteps of Kings Charles II and Louis XIV, their deathbed repentances are not what God wants. It's no use living a sinful life while hoping to put things right later. God wants a change of heart now—not only for His sake, but for ourselves as well, individually and collectively.



Solomon wrote: "Righteousness exalts a nation, but sin is a reproach to any people" (Proverbs 14:34Righteousness exalteth a nation: but sin is a reproach to any people.



See All...). It's difficult for other nations to take leaders seriously when they are surrounded by sordid rumors. Perhaps many have not really understood the seriousness of sexual misbehavior. Clearly, our current Western society takes infidelity far too lightly. This is all the more reason to heed the advice of the apostle Paul to the Athenians: "Truly, these times of ignorance God overlooked, but now commands all men everywhere to repent" (Acts 17:30And the times of this ignorance God winked at; but now commandeth all men every where to repent:



See All...).



The sooner leaders start living by the laws of God, the sooner they and those who naturally regard them as role models will become the kind of examples Jesus Christ described: "the light of the world" and "a city set on a hill ... Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven" (Matthew 5:14-16 [14] Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid.

[15] Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house.

[16] Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.





See All...). GN

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Hope & Help for Children of Divorce

From http://el-paso.ucg.org/  or call 1-888-886-8632

Hope & Help for Children of Divorce

article by Vertical Thought Editor





Every year millions of children experience the trauma of their parents' divorce. Millions more have already gone through that pain and been affected in ways large and small. What can help children of divorce? One who has been there shares the keys that helped him through that experience.



My life was going to be forever changed, that much I could understand. I knew Mom and Dad were not getting along very well, because sometimes at night, through my bedroom wall, I could hear the sounds of arguing, then crying. But as of tonight our family would never be the same again.



A man waited in a car across the street, and when Dad got home the man gave him some papers. In less time than it takes to watch a TV sitcom, it was over. Dad packed a few things, got in his car and left. Our family of four was no more.



Divorce was a word that sounded like a bomb exploding. This was the early 1970s, and while more and more families around us were being torn apart by divorce, it had always seemed like such a remote thing. I'd heard about it, and I knew families who had gone through it, but divorce was not something that I ever imagined would touch me or my family.



But on that blackest of all nights, it did. I couldn't fathom what the future would be like, but I knew without a doubt that the rest of my life would be very different from my first 11 years.



Over the years I've likened the destruction of my family to standing on a beach with a double-fisted handful of very fine, very dry, very special sand. It has substance, but it isn't solid—it isn't anything you can really hang onto.



No matter how hard you try to squeeze and hold on to it, with every beat of your heart more of it sifts through the small gaps between your fingers and falls to the ground. You can't catch what is falling without dropping more, and you could never ever gather every grain of your special handful of sand and hold it all together again. In no time, most of it is gone and all you have left in your hands is an empty space.



Divorce's impact on children



I am far from alone in my experiences. Today the U.S. divorce rate for first marriages is 43 percent, and for second marriages it's 60 percent. Upwards of one million American children live through the divorce of their parents every year.



Whether the divorce was a messy one or a "good divorce," every one of those children is impacted in powerful and generally negative ways. For one thing, these children do not seem to know as much about building a happy marriage. The divorce rate for first marriages of children of divorce is a staggering 60 percent.



The children of divorce also have, in general, a much more difficult time with religion and a relationship with God. Statistically they are much less religious than their counterparts from intact families. They often describe themselves as equally spiritual, but they are far less involved in any form of organized religion.



Children of divorce struggle with understanding God as a loving, tender and merciful Father. A great many feel that God is distant, aloof and generally uninterested in the day-to-day concerns of humanity.



Others reject the idea of a personal God altogether and prefer to commune with the spirituality of nature or participate in solitary meditation. A real, personal, close and loving relationship with the Creator of the universe seems unattainable and perhaps undesirable.



Learning to be able to trust again



The trauma of watching parents divorce can generate mental and emotional obstacles to a strong faith, but they are not insurmountable. The keys are in trust, belonging and hope.



When parents part ways, their children often feel like a sacred trust has been broken. If I can't trust my parents to always be there for me, they say to themselves, how can I think that anyone else will, even God?



The matter is complicated for many when the Bible says God is our Father (Matthew 6:1Take heed that ye do not your alms before men, to be seen of them: otherwise ye have no reward of your Father which is in heaven.



See All...) and their experience of a father is negative or even nonexistent. The word "father" often does not engender much trust!



But God is ever and always trustworthy. He is perfect, while our parents, no matter how wonderful they may have been, could never be. He promises that He will never leave us nor forsake us (Hebrews 13:5Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.



See All...), and that is a very powerful promise!



A human being may let us down, but our Creator never will. He always knows what we need and when we need it. He may not always provide what we want at a given moment, but we can be assured that as we yield to Him, in His love and mercy He will always make sure we have what we need, which is what we would want in the long run.



Even the divorce of my parents, which hurt so deeply and changed the shape of who I would be, can be turned into something for my good (Romans 8:28And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.



See All...). I may not be able to see how for a while, but that is a promise in which I can place my wholehearted trust.



Regaining a sense of belonging



A sense of belonging is also a fundamental need in nearly every one of us. The desire to belong somewhere seems to be encoded into our emotional makeup. Some people find belonging in sports or academic pursuits. Some find it in art and music, some in service and helping. Some even try to find belonging in rebelling.



Our God offers us a chance to belong, to be a part of something so much larger than ourselves. God promised to build His Church, protect it and provide for it no matter what. In fact, He promises that nothing can prevail against His Church (Matthew 16:18And I say also unto thee, That thou art Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.



See All...). We can be a part of something that really will change the world!



God is in the process of calling many children to Him and offering them a place in His Kingdom (Hebrews 2:10For it became him, for whom are all things, and by whom are all things, in bringing many sons unto glory, to make the captain of their salvation perfect through sufferings.



See All...; Revelation 5:10And hast made us unto our God kings and priests: and we shall reign on the earth.



See All...). God is building His family, and if we humble ourselves and yield to Him, then you and I can and do belong there!



Looking forward with hope



Trust and belonging then lead to a wonderful hope. Divorce and all the accompanying pain and problems do little to foster hope for the future. But as we learn to trust our Father in heaven and realize we belong with His people and in His Kingdom, we can grasp and take to ourselves the hope God offers to all mankind!



He assures us that the world is not going to end with a total collapse of the earth's ecosystem or in a cloud of poisonous gas or in radioactive dust from a nuclear holocaust. Rather, God gives us hope through promising that He will intervene and send Jesus Christ to usher in a new and wonderful world of peace unlike anything mankind has ever seen before (Isaiah 9:7Of the increase of his government and peace there shall be no end, upon the throne of David, and upon his kingdom, to order it, and to establish it with judgment and with justice from henceforth even for ever. The zeal of the LORD of hosts will perform this.



See All...).



But more immediately, there is hope that our lives can be different. God has laws that govern relationships, especially marriage. If we will faithfully follow those laws, and revere the institution of marriage God created, we do not have to end up among the 60 percent who cannot seem to find success in marriage. We don't have to be among those without a daily relationship with the majestic God!



God means what He promises



When my parents divorced, I watched as the only family I had ever known turned to sand and drained away through my fingers. It affected the way I viewed everything in my life. But I discovered through the pages of the Bible—and through personal experience with my Creator—a trust, a sense of belonging and a wonderful hope for both now and the future.



I have never been divorced, and my wife and I have shared more than two decades together quite happily with our children. My faith is strong and growing, and it's the underlying foundation to virtually everything I have ever accomplished. My life today is fuller and more complete than I could have ever dreamed of on that dark night several decades ago.



When God inspired the apostle Paul in Romans 8:28And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.



See All... to pen the words "all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose," He meant it—even to children of divorce. VT



The author's name has been withheld for family privacy.

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World News and Trends: Get married, stay married, live longer

From http://el-paso.ucg.org/  or call 1-888-886-8632.

World News and Trends: Get married, stay married, live longer

article by Jerold Aust, John Ross Schroeder





Does marriage statistically make you live longer?



Marrying and staying married has a significant impact on longevity for both men and women, according a study by the National Center for Health Statistics that analyzed 2.2 million U.S. death certificates from 2003.



The study found that married men lived an average of 77.6 years compared to 69.2 years for never-married men and 67.1 years for divorced men. Married women had an average life span of 81 years compared to 77.4 years for the never-wed and 72 for women who had divorced. (Source: Scripps Howard News Service.)

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Michigan Paper Campaigns Against High Divorce Rate

From http://el-paso.ucg.org/  or call 1-888-886-8632.


Michigan Paper Campaigns Against High Divorce Rate





article by Melvin Rhodes





As the state of New York joins the other 49 states in allowing no-fault divorce, a surprising bill before the Michigan legislature aims to make divorce for couples with young children more difficult.



God hates divorce.



We're told this in Malachi 2:16For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.



See All..., which adds, "For it covers one's garment with violence."



Surprisingly, my local newspaper also seems to see the connection between divorce and violence.



Michigan, like all the other states in the United States now that New York has changed its law, has a no-fault divorce law. That means that if any married person wants out of a marriage, he or she can get out of it. There doesn't have to be a reason. "More than 80% of...divorces are unilateral," my local paper reported ("There's Plenty to Discuss About Divorce," Lansing State Journal, July 9, 2010).



The Lansing State Journal believes this needs to change.



Every year, in Michigan alone, there are 30,000 children affected by divorce. That is 30,000 young children who will no longer share the same home with Mom and Dad. Usually, the children stay with Mom, and Dad lives elsewhere. As the total family income remains the same, this results in considerable hardship and even dire poverty.



Divorce is the number one cause of poverty. According to a recent Dateline documentary on NBC, 60 percent of children who do not have enough to eat are the children of divorce, living with a mother who is often destitute.



Highlighting the link with violence, the Lansing State Journal warns that these children are the most vulnerable in our society and the ones who are most likely to fill our prisons a decade or so down the line.



Yet the prevailing attitude of many when justifying their own divorce is: "Children are resilient!"



Trends and tragedies

I remember watching the Middle Eastern news channel al-Jazeera some years ago while on a visit to West Africa. This was at a time when the United States was lecturing a Middle Eastern nation on its human rights record. One lady from the region made the comment: "Who are the Americans to lecture us on human rights? The basic right of every child is to have two parents, yet half America's children don't." Good point.



The U.S. divorce rate is about 50 percent. Half of all American marriages end in divorce.



On a recent visit to Turkey, I asked our tour guide what the divorce rate was in the country. He said it was 3 percent. So I started checking the Internet. India has an even lower divorce rate of 1.1 percent, or 11 couples in a thousand!



It might surprise some today to learn that the U.S. divorce rate was much lower a century ago. There was a time when divorce was frowned upon and socially unacceptable. Of course, that was also a time when people were more aware of biblical teachings against divorce and for the sanctity and lifetime commitment of marriage.



The fact that it has become much more acceptable in the last few decades is a contributing factor to the exponential increase in the number of divorces.



"A team of researchers led by Brown University's Rose McDermott looked over material from a study of 12,000 Massachusetts residents since 1948 and concluded that divorce is contagious," wrote the Lansing paper on its opinion page leader. "A bill to restrict divorce, Senate Bill 1127, was filed in February." So far, it has not progressed any further.



Continuing, the paper said: "The state of Michigan has a vested interest in the welfare of its children. It's long been known that divorce can lead to all sorts of negative outcomes for children. As such, Michigan should reverse the last 30 years of policy and restrict the use of no-fault divorce for couples with minor children."



What the Bible says about the attacks on marriage

The apostle Paul's predictions in 2 Timothy 3:1-2 [1] This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.

[2] For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,





See All... help us understand why divorce is more prevalent today. "But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: For men will be lovers of themselves."



Not just men, of course, but women also. This is a very self-centered age. Selfishness abounds. Marriage requires a couple to care for each other. A successful marriage requires selflessness; selfishness is detrimental to marriage.



Paul also wrote of how the relationship between a man and a woman is similar to the relationship between Jesus Christ and the Church. "So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes it and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church" (Ephesians 5:28-29 [28] So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

[29] For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:





See All...).



God not only hates divorce, He never intended it to happen in the first place. Jesus Christ said: "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so" (Matthew 19:8He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.



See All...).



A primary reason for divorce is mentioned in the very next verse. "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery" (Matthew 19:9And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.



See All...).



A prophecy about the end time states it very clearly: "They commit harlotry continually" (Hosea 4:18Their drink is sour: they have committed whoredom continually: her rulers with shame do love, Give ye.



See All...). The sexual immorality that is prevalent in the Western world today directly contributes to the high divorce rate. People who have had multiple sexual partners before marriage are highly unlikely to settle down and commit to one partner for life after marriage—they will eventually revert to their previous bad habits.



God hates divorce—and the United States and other Western nations largely ignore Him!



Nation continues to mock God

Cal Thomas, the conservative syndicated columnist, had an article in the same paper on Aug. 13, 2010, warning the United States against further mockery of the Almighty, this time over the trend toward same-sex marriage.



"The decision by a single, openly gay federal judge to strike down the will of 7 million Californians, tradition dating back millennia [not to mention biblical commands, which the judge decided, in his capacity as a false god, to also invalidate] is judicial vigilantism equal to Roe v. Wade" ("California Ruling Shows U.S. Immorality," Lansing State Journal ).



Roe v. Wade was the Supreme Court case that legalized abortion in 1973. Neither of these seismic changes to the nation's culture was approved by the majority in a democratic process.



Thomas continued: "Most great powers unravel from within before invading armies [or in America's case, terrorists] conquer them. A preacher might develop a good sermon on how nations fare when they mock God."



Later in the column, Thomas wrote: "Abraham Lincoln concluded that our Civil War might have been God's judgment for America's tolerance of slavery. If that were so, why should 'the Almighty,' as Lincoln frequently referred to God, stay His hand in the face of our celebration of same-sex marriage?"



Although there are many people in the United States and other Western nations who are trying to be faithful to their spouses, recognizing that this is what God wants and expects of those who follow Him, increasingly it seems people just do what they want to do regardless of what God says.



Thomas continued, "A nation that loses its moral sense is a nation without any sense at all. Muslim fanatics who wish to destroy us are correct in their diagnosis of our moral rot: loss of a fear of God, immodesty, especially among women, materialism and much more."



In conclusion, Cal Thomas quoted Scripture: "None of this should surprise anyone who takes the time to read and understand what happens to people and nations that disregard God... 'Where there is no revelation, the people cast off restraint,' which is paraphrased in the Living Bible, 'When people do not accept divine guidance, they run wild' (Proverbs 29:18Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he.



See All...); and 'In those days Israel had no king; everyone did as he saw fit' (Judges 21:25In those days there was no king in Israel: every man did that which was right in his own eyes.



See All...)." WNP

.

Child Porn Goes Mainstream: The Millstone of MTV

From http://el-paso.ucg.org/  or call 1-888-886-8632.

Child Porn Goes Mainstream: The Millstone of MTV


A commentary by Marc Cebrian

Member of the Oakland, California, congregation of the United Church of God and a professional video editor in San Francisco

Posted February 3, 2011

Just when you think that the depravity of our modern culture cannot sink any lower, something else pushes the envelope. Enter: Skins, a television series that was first broadcast in the United Kingdom and that has now been adapted for the United States. The quick synopsis of this MTV show is: "Follow the adventures of a group of high school kids trying to discover who they are and what life is about by experimenting with drugs, alcohol and sex."



Sex, drugs and lots of underage skin

There have been many programs and movies over the years that used this "coming of age" story steeped in ancient sins, but a particularly disturbing part of this show is that the actors portraying the high school kids are kids themselves. The underage actors range from 15 to 17. Legally, they are minors. Yet these minors are put into sexual situations on camera—touching each other's bodies and, in some cases, showing lots of skin.



The sexualizing of our young people—children—is an abomination.



If I were to describe the content of the promotional materials that are being used to advertise the show, that in itself might be considered pornography. The fact that the actors are children intensifies the controversy because, by definition, MTV is selling child pornography.



MTV has gone from playing music videos 24/7 to pushing the "easy money" of reality television and controversial dramatic programming with overt sexual themes targeted at young viewers.



Where are the parents?

Where are the parents of these actors? Have they no protective instinct to shield their own kids from being exposed to such filth? What about all the adults involved in the production? Have they no conscience? Are their minds so seared by sin that they gladly accept the paycheck and put human standards aside?



Jesus Christ warned, "It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were thrown into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones" (Luke 17:2).



I happened to speak with two coworkers this week about the show. The 45-year-old mother of an 11-year-old girl said, "If you go after them, you'll have to go after Abercrombie and Fitch." A father in his early 30s commented, "Well, my daughter's only 4, so I don't have to worry about it. Besides, the show that aired in the U.K. was much worse."



To sum up both responses: There's a lot of bad stuff out there, so just accept it. Evil builds upon evil.



Where evil comes from

According to surveys, most Americans don't believe a literal Satan exists. He does.



Satan knows all he needs to do is corrupt one generation and when the corrupted people have their own children, their evil ways will be assured. Satan knows the wisdom of Scripture and uses it to suit his own devices: "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it" (Proverbs 22:6).



MTV is paving the way for more depraved programming. The only thing that might turn them back, besides an effective lawsuit for interstate traffic in pornography, would be very large numbers of Americans standing up and saying, "Enough!" What can you do to stand up against this disturbing program? You could write to the advertisers of the show. You could write to MTV. You could call them. You could tell them they are promoting the corruption of our young people by glorifying the worst moral values that exist in our society.



But would you make any difference?



It's not yet clear whether the Justice Department will investigate to see if federal laws were broken, but the damage is already done. The moral standard in our society has been lowered—and once that is cemented into the mainstream consciousness, it will open a door for the next step down. Satan may be laughing, but God is not.



The apostle Paul warned in his letter to Timothy, "But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God" (2 Timothy 3:1-4, New International Version).



Any society that does not fulfill its obligation to protect its children is a society that does not deserve to exist. But rather than praying for God's judgment upon those who have contributed to this path of destruction, let us all pray that the children be protected from temptation when the parents fail to do so.



To learn more about what the Bible tells parents about protecting and raising moral children, see our free booklet Marriage and Family: The Missing Dimension

Is Your Family Manipulated by Mass Media?

From http://el-paso.ucg.org/  or call 1-888-886-8632.



Is Your Family Manipulated by Mass Media?


Does your family properly use electronic mass media? Or do you let the media abuse you? Here are 10 principles to help you regain control and stamp out media abuse.

by Howard Davis

Believe it or not, your family is probably being abused- by a manipulative seducer you welcome into your home.



Many people unknowingly let media merchants-the creators and marketers of television programs, movies, videotapes, music and video and computer games-abuse them. They do so when they allow such outsiders to intrude into their family affairs and exploit the negative side of their human nature.



Although the entertainment media can be informative and beneficial, we need to recognize that evil media exist, and we must learn how to make use of the good and avoid the bad. We should realize, too, that too much of even a good thing can be bad.



How great is the media's influence on the family? According to a 2001 report of the American Academy of Pediatrics, the average American child living at home spends 42 hours weekly-the equivalent of a full-time job-immersed in watching TV or videos, listening to music on the radio, tapes or CDs, playing video games or using a computer.



Many adults admit they squander much of their health and time in passively viewing-letting television, videotapes and other electronic and mechanical contrivances monopolize their time and keep them from physical exercise and other productive activities and even enough sleep.



Researchers associate excessive TV viewing with violence, depression, obesity and mental problems. Although many people think of television as a stress reliever, research has shown that, at current viewing levels, TV induces stress while discouraging exercise and productive motivation.



Regaining control

What about your family? Many people don't realize that life can be better when we begin to control media rather than letting media control us. Many don't understand that stopping media abuse is a matter of setting and then diplomatically implementing firm family rules. Establishing principles of media use for your family is the best way to use electronic devices productively rather than letting them use you.



The mass media are designed to stimulate and control your mind through attention-getting techniques-to the point that some researchers compare their effect to addictive drugs. Because the media are so prone to abuse, unless you consciously temper your media use by decisions based on solid biblical values within a consistent and positive lifestyle, you will probably find yourself a victim of media abuse.



Positive media use is advocated throughout a growing field of study called media literacy, to be found in many educational systems in many countries. Ironically, in the United States, which because of heavy media use needs it most, media-literacy efforts sadly lag.



Although the mass media's correlation with declining education, increased criminal behavior and deteriorating physical and mental health are increasingly and adequately documented, state and federal lawmakers consistently fail to fund media-literacy efforts. Why? Part of the answer is that the election processes at all levels heavily involve media manipulation by all parties and candidates. Too many elected officials, conservative and liberal, are themselves largely the creations of the mass media.



Effective media-literacy efforts involve helping students and parents develop critical-thinking skills to counteract a culture that conditions us to passively accept almost anything. Psychological and brainwave studies show that TV and other visual electronic-media use, including many video and computer games, pushes people into a mild trance-what some call passive mindlessness-after only a few minutes.



Surveys by educators show that firm but fair family rules that limit the amount of television viewing-along with rules restricting or banning sexually suggestive and violent content-are important factors in helping students develop into academic achievers.



Ten principles of healthy media use

The good news is that you can change many of these negative situations and outcomes. Your family can learn to use the media as assets rather than enemies.



However, doing so requires that most of us begin to break long-established habits.



Not surprisingly, the best advice from educators, the American Academy of Pediatrics (representing 55,000 children's doctors) and government-funded research agrees with a common source-the Bible -when it comes to properly using the mass media. Without quoting specific scriptures or academic citations, and yet adhering to biblical teachings, the following basic principles are easy to understand and not difficult to follow-once you make a firm commitment and apply them for a month.



Understand, though, that when making these changes you will need to discuss them with other family members because they will probably require major lifestyle changes. Parents should agree on the rules and explain them to their children. For a family's new mass-media program to be effective, it needs to involve genuine change. You don't have to throw out the television, but these principles do require action.



Principle 1: Focus on doing, not viewing.

Make sure you and your family involve yourselves in a variety of activities to ensure a rich and balanced life based on thought, talk and action. Limit passive consumption in every area of life. Just as eating too much junk food is harmful, media consumption is bad when it tilts your life out of balance. Make sure your family does more than simply passively and mindlessly soak up what's presented.



The American Academy of Pediatricians maintains that children should not be exposed to more than one or two hours of television, video recordings and popular music per day. The academy says young children should view television no more than 30 minutes daily. This requires cutting out 65 to 75 percent of television time in the life of a typical 2- to 18-year-old child. Adults likewise need to set the right example by making similar needed adjustments.



Principle 2: Place your television carefully.

Keep the television set where you and your family have to make an intentional effort to use it. If you don't want the TV and Internet to dominate your time, then don't place your television and computer where they are easy to access. That means keeping the TV out of the kitchen or bedrooms if that's where family members spend most of their free time.



Wise parents place the TV where they can monitor their children's viewing. You might even drape a tablecloth over the set if it's in the living or family room to discourage leaving it on constantly.



Even if you think you may have a war on your hands-65 percent of American schoolchildren have television sets in their bedrooms-patiently explain to your children the reasons that viewing in the bedroom is not a good idea. Virtually all experts agree that TV in children's rooms leads to more viewing, the tendency to obesity and incomplete homework and increased isolation from the rest of the family.



Principle 3: Establish and follow family rules

Make realistic rules and follow them. For example, you might want to allow television watching only after your children complete their homework and household chores. Some parents allow no more than one hour of TV before dinner; then comes homework; then one hour of TV viewing before bedtime. Some advocate no TV, Internet or electronic games at all after 10 or 11 p.m.



Whatever the rules, live within them, but don't be unreasonably inflexible or overly arbitrary about following them when circumstances warrant otherwise. Of course, there is always a tendency to decide that a particular media event is so important we must bend the rules. Don't believe it. With rare exceptions, almost anything can be videotaped to play back later.



Many adults whose parents severely limited their TV time while they were growing up now thank them for those apparently restrictive but, viewed in retrospect, farsighted family rules. They realize they were able to use their time to develop a wide range of skills, from art to sports to musical abilities to auto mechanics. Instead of wasting time on prepackaged audiovisual entertainment, their working hard or reading material requiring them to think helped them develop skills that proved valuable later in life.



Those who watched little TV as children generally grew up to be more actionoriented. They became productive people with higher standards than they would have otherwise had, and they developed a genuine sense of accomplishment. Naturally, having now become parents themselves, they want to keep their own children from wasting their youth on passive media consumption. These parents are among the strongest supporters of consistent rules for electronic-media use.



Principle 4: Plan your viewing ahead of time.

Make a schedule of the coming week's viewing and stick to it. With the exception of disasters, emergencies and latebreaking stories and intermittent special broadcasts, you should be able plan most TV programming in advance.



Be sure to switch off the TV when dining. That is critical for family health and well-being. Don't give up family dining time for television viewing.



Principle 5: Teach your children media-literacy skills.

Talk about what you and your family members watch and listen to. Point out the impact television and music has on attitudes, thinking and emotions. Question your children. Their answers will tell you how they perceive the information they see and hear and will sharpen your skill in analyzing the media as well.



What do the messages targeted at families mean? Considering and talking about content will help you realize how you may be affected and what steps you may need to institute to build a healthy home atmosphere.



Principle 6: Have fun with what you watch.

Some TV programs are both fun and beneficial. But even when a program isn't, sometimes you can have a good laugh when you see foolish commercials or absurd programming. Laugh and joke about the clever methods producers of TV commercials and programs use to sell a particular point of view. Be alert and aware!



Principle 7: Talk about media violence and destructive sexuality.

Explain the differences between manufactured horror and real-life suffering. Explain that playing with sex outside of marriage always has damaging effects-contrary to the seemingly harmless way it is almost always depicted in movies, TV shows and music. Discuss the realistic and unrealistic use of sex as it is presented by the mass media. Talk about the many sensational portrayals of violence with no ill consequences to the heroes and villains in contrast to morerealistic programs that honestly show the inevitable consequences.



Principle 8: Choose quality TV, video and computer media.

Make it a part of your routine to view educational TV programs and videos. Many excellent programs on history, biography, culture, science and classic drama are available to enrich and inform us, even humor and inspire us.



Principle 9: Model good viewing habits.

As adults, proactively decide what you will watch and make it clear to your children and visiting friends, if necessary, that your household's viewing habits are consistent with your values. Understand, of course, that your children will not willingly restrict their viewing to good material and stick to family rules if parents don't do so.



Principle 10: Use TV and videotapes or DVDs to support biblical values.

Make your media-content choices support your biblically based family values. Make them fit your personal quest to have the best family life possible. Should negative media intrude into your home and life, analyze and discuss why the content doesn't support the ideals and goals you are striving to maintain.



Depending on the age of your children, if at least some of these 10 principles do not describe your way of life, you may have to exercise diplomacy and patience in implementing them. Applying right principles can require thought and planning, but you will find the results well worth the effort.



All 10 principles will lead to a better life and a realistic view of the world. We live in the mass-media age, but that doesn't force us to be mass-media slaves. God wants us to be the best we can be, which requires that we live a principled life-controlling media input rather than letting it control us by brainwashing us with its oftencorrupting values and standards.



Gaining control over a problem requires three simple steps to implement change: acquiring knowledge of the problem, committing to a solution, and consistently following through.



A major theme of the Bible is that "whatever a man sows, that he will also reap" (Galatians 6:7). If you sow these principles of success when it comes to using the electronic media in your home, you can reap rich rewards in a balanced, positive life.



For further information, you can obtain a summary of sound principles for media use from the American Academy of Pediatricians through your local pediatrician, on the Web at www.aap.org or in books such as Screen Smarts: A Family Guide to Media Literacy, by Gloria DeGaetano and Kathleen Bander, in public libraries and bookstores. GN

Getting off the Sexual Merry-Go-Round

From http://el-paso.ucg.org/  or call 1-888-886-8632.

Getting off the Sexual Merry-Go-Round


Millions of people have found themselves caught up in the lies promised by the sexual revolution, finding that it brought only heartache and pain. If you're one of its victims, what can you do to start over?

by Gary Petty

Before the 1960s and its sexual revolution that tossed out traditional morality, it was generally believed that the ideal sexual relationship was a special romantic bond between a husband and a wife. Today, according to television commercials touting male enhancement drugs, it seems that everyone is concerned with sexual performance as if it were a competitive sport.



The sexual revolution was supposed to free us from shame and outdated ideas about human sexuality, and everyone was going to enjoy a kind of sexual Disneyland where we'd go from one thrill to another. But it's time to face the facts: Decades later, the sexual revolution thrill ride has derailed.



The sexual revolution's sad fruits

The sexual revolution didn't free women to experience more meaningful relationships; it freed men and women to separate sex from commitment. They could now go from partner to partner without personal responsibility or emotional attachment.



Any single mom knows how difficult it is to raise a child without a partner. But there's also the risk of sexually transmitted diseases. An estimated 45 million people in the United States are infected with genital herpes—a number that's growing by a million new cases a year.



It's estimated that this year 25 percent—one in four—of sexually active teens will contract a sexually transmitted disease. These numbers are too large for most of us to wrap our minds around—unless you're one of those suffering from an STD.



How much heartache have you endured because of broken relationships? Have you given up on that deep longing for a committed, lifetime, romantic relationship because meaningless sexual encounters have left you feeling hopeless or bitter?



If you want to get off the sexual merry-go-round, you must take control of your life and set new standards for yourself. It all begins by understanding God's purpose for your life and the beautiful mystery of human sexuality.



God created you because He wants children—sons and daughters. To be His child is your purpose in life. He created you as one of a kind—a person with a unique combination of talents and traits. By accepting your Creator's way and giving up self-destructive lifestyles, you will discover that human sexuality is more than simple recreation or a means for having babies.



Marriage is one of the first divine institutions God gave to humankind, and human sexuality was designed to be a wonderful relationship enjoyed in marriage. If you want to change your life and discover how to have a committed, lifelong, loving marriage, you must first get off the sexual merry-go-round and become committed to renewed virginity —completely avoiding any kind of sex outside of marriage.



Where to start in starting over

So now what? Are you to join a monastery and dedicate your life to a dreary state of abstinence? Think about this: Many of us spend 12 years going to school, and often an additional four to eight years learning a career. What if you dedicated just a fraction of your time preparing for marriage? Most people get married with more knowledge of how to take care of a pet than of how to have a successful marriage!



Successful lifelong marriages don't happen by accident. And a successful marriage not only affects your and your spouse's happiness, but the happiness of your children. The primary cause of poverty in the Western world is single women trying to raise children without the benefit of dad.



You can stay on the sexual merry-go-round if you wish. And maybe you'll avoid getting AIDS or gonorrhea. Maybe you won't get pregnant. But the unseen emotional scars are just as devastating. Too much heartache, too many casual encounters, too many morning-after anxieties, and a person can feel almost emotionally incapable of experiencing a meaningful relationship.



The only safe sex is between a husband and wife committed to each other in a lifelong relationship. In today's society that may sound trite, but remember that you can't solve your problems with the same old solutions or you'll simply arrive at the same old problems.



You can make changes

If you want to experience a lifelong, loving relationship, then you're going to have to do some things differently in your life. Get off the sexual merry-go-round. Discover your Creator's purpose for you. Go to the Bible and learn what marriage is really all about.



If you're struggling with the guilt of abortion, heartache from living a wrong sexual lifestyle or the shame of having an STD, your life can change.



Renewed virginity isn't just a quaint, unrealistic catchphrase. You must accept that your lifestyle has been self-destructive and against the way of life your Creator designed. Ask for His forgiveness, and then you can begin a renewed life—a renewed life as a child of God. You can become a disciple of Jesus Christ. Not just a believer, but a real disciple, a dedicated student who imitates the teachings of the Master.



God designed marriage, and the sexual relationship within marriage, as a gift for you. God didn't intend sex as just a means of procreation. It's meant to be part of the loving, unique relationship between a husband and wife.



Are you ready to commit to what God wants for you and experience real happiness? GN









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Related Resources

Marriage and Family: The Missing Dimension

The joy of a happy marriage blessed with loving, respectful children is a dream of most men and women. Traditionally, marriage has been an exclusive bond between a man and a woman. Yet in recent years this pattern has been changing. Looking at the state of marriage today leaves no doubt that the institution is under serious attack. A crisis in child rearing has developed in part because of the crisis in marriages. So what are the keys to a happy, successful marriage and family? Inside this booklet, you will explore the path God reveals and steps you can take to enjoy the universal dream of a happy, successful marriage and family.



God's Guide to Sex

Everyone knows about the similarities between animal and human sexuality, but what about the differences? And what are the implications of those differences?



God's Purpose for Sex and Marriage

We live in a world saturated with sex. But are we missing an unrealized dimension when it comes to sex and marriage? When and how did sex originate—and why?



Society's Slide Into Sexual Immorality

We are now some 30 years into the sexual revolution that began in the 1960s. What has been the impact on society? What are the implications for the future?



The Seventh Commandment: Protect the Marital Relationship

Unless the natural desires that attract us to members of the opposite sex are channeled exclusively toward a loving marriage relationship, the temptation to engage in sexual immorality can easily overpower our self-control. This weakness is the focus of the Seventh Commandment.



Sex Outside of Marriage: What's the Big Deal?

The sexual revolution of the '60s encouraged us to liberate ourselves from old sexual taboos. Millions did. What have we learned?



Happy Meal Morality

No civilization in history has ever survived the collapse of sexual morality and the resulting destruction of the family. Once a nation starts down that path, the result has always been the same. Which is more important to you—a moral happy meal or a moral, happy family?



America's Moral Downturn: What Lies Ahead?

Does morality matter? What are the long-term consequences when a nation's moral foundation crumbles?



Teen Sex: The Silent Epidemic That's Killing Our Kids

Sweeping the world, this silent epidemic is largely ignored by most Western governments—except for misguided programs that often make this devastating problem even worse. Most parents have little idea how bad this epidemic is, much less how to fight it—yet solid biblical solutions exist.



Virginity: Is It Worth It?

Many people mistakenly think everyone is having sex before marriage, but the facts show otherwise—with good cause.

Adultery: No Longer Shameful?

From http://el-paso.ucg.org/  or call 1-888-886-8632.



Adultery: No Longer Shameful?


What does habitual and rampant adultery tell us about a person and a nation?

by Melvin Rhodes

Sordid scandals among the elite of society have dominated the news lately in several countries. It seems that extramarital relationships and political power go together. Some politicians abuse their position by taking sexual advantage of others. However, their supposed victims are not always blameless. To be able to boast of a relationship with a famous figure appeals to their vanity.



As King Solomon was inspired to write 3,000 years ago, "there is nothing new under the sun" (Ecclesiastes 1:9). Solomon was an authority on having multiple bed partners; the Bible tells us that he had 700 wives and 300 concubines (1 Kings 11:3).



Solomon might have excused himself by claiming that he was only following the lead of other monarchs in the Middle East at the time for whom multiple wives and concubines were a sign of status and prestige. But he should have known better. After all, he had access to the true God. The Bible also tells us that Solomon's pursuit of many women of various religions led to idolatry and "turned away his heart" from God.



More recently King Charles II of Great Britain (1660-85) was publicly known as a philanderer. He left illegitimate heirs, but no children to take the throne. Charles had apparently been influenced by the French court of Louis XIV. Like most European monarchs at the time, "Louis lived an atheist and died a Catholic" (Durant, The Age of Louis XIV). Religion was not taken seriously, and deathbed repentances were common.



In contrast, Queen Victoria (1837-1901) was a pillar of rectitude. She was a committed family woman, remaining faithful to Prince Albert and not even remarrying after his death. But her son and successor earned a dubious reputation.



Some American presidents have not set a good example of fidelity. A 19th-century president was known to have had a mistress and an illegitimate child. Recent revelations show that more-recent presidents have indulged in extramarital relationships.



Some would say that the only difference between then and now is the publicity given today's leaders. Back then the press kept quiet. As part of an unpoken gentlemen's agreement, reporters did not betray the dalliances of politicians, princes or kings.



An Age-old Temptation

Adultery is nothing new. Nor is prostitution, commonly referred to as the world's oldest profession. Throughout the ages men (with the complicity of women) have tried to justify sex outside of marriage, sometimes even to legalize it.



The early theologian Augustine, who fought a long personal battle with sexual temptation, taught that the woman was the criminal when it came to adultery, the man being a mere accomplice.



How should we view public morality? Some think that affairs should be a politician's private business.



Should society turn a blind eye to sexual shenanigans in high places? Certainly we shouldn't clamor for every lurid detail. The apostle Paul admonishes us in Philippians 4:8 to think on "whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things."



This advice would preclude Christians from focusing their attention on the seamier side of life and gossip about the rich and famous.



But it still matters. Adultery always matters. Whether the adulterer is John Doe, a king or a president, adultery matters and adultery is always wrong.



What Does God's Word Say?

Politicians and the public may have varying definitions of adultery. But adultery, by biblical definition, is the violation of the marriage contract by either or both partners in the marriage through sexual activity with a third person. The commandment against adultery should be understood to include fornication (sexual relations before marriage), incest and male and female homosexual practices, all of which are outlawed in the Bible.



Adultery is considered such a serious sin by Almighty God that its prohibition constitutes one of the Ten Commandments. Our Creator says: "You shall not commit adultery" (Exodus 20:14; Deuteronomy 5:18).



God was and is serious about this sin. In ancient Israel people who committed adultery suffered capital punishment (Leviticus 20:10). Adultery is described as an abomination in God's eyes (verse 13).



It is interesting that, whereas some may feel that any sexual activity short of intercourse is not a sin, the Scriptures show us that anything involving "uncovering nakedness"—for the purpose of sexual misbehavior—is a sin (Leviticus 18:6-19). Jesus Christ went so far as to say that even desiring to interact sexually with someone other than your marriage partner is a sin (Matthew 5:28).



Deeper Dimensions

When we take time to look at the Ten Commandments more closely, we see that in principle committing adultery is not just breaking the Seventh Commandment. James 2:10 reminds us that "whoever shall keep the whole law, and yet stumble in one point, he is guilty of all."



It's no good blaming it on somebody else, either. The same apostle also wrote that "each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death" (James 1:14-15).



Earlier in the same chapter James, the Lord's brother, said that "blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love him" (verse 12).



Clearly, the matter is serious. Like breaking any of the Ten Commandments, committing adultery endangers our happiness and jeopardizes our eternal salvation (Romans 6:23).



But why is it so important to God?



Adultery is an issue that comes down to character. God wants us to "be perfect" (Matthew 5:48), even as He is perfect. God is love (1 John 4:8). It is essential therefore that we learn to love as God loves. God's love is completely selfless, not selfish. God's love is concern toward others. He does not want to hurt anyone (Isaiah 11:9). He gave His law to protect us and those around us from harm's way.



God is vitally concerned about our happiness and wants us to have lasting, loving relationships rather than pursue self-gratification at the expense of others. Breaking God's law, or any one of His commandments, results in hurt and pain for all involved—even the one who might get some temporary pleasure from sin (Hebrew 11:25).



In contrast to what God says, illicit love affairs are often depicted in a favorable light in films and other entertainment media . Not only do the purveyors of popular culture neglect to focus on the dark side of adultery as an act of betrayal of the marriage vows, but they often overlook the dire consequences that follow.



Jonathan Rauch, correspondent for The National Journal in Washington, D.C., observed that "adultery represents a serious problem for society as well as individuals on a variety of levels. Society has a strong interest in binding people together into long-term couples. Marriage civilizes and settles men (especially younger men), promotes secure homes for children, helps achieve economic stability for both partners, ensures that everyone has somebody to look after him or her in times of ill health. To serve these functions marriages must be durable."



But today's casual acceptance of adultery is the archenemy of long-lasting marriages.



Many Sins Involved

Breaking the Seventh Commandment is a character issue. Not only has the guilty party broken the marriage vow, but he or she has allowed another person came before God—thereby also breaking the First and Second Commandments.



This sinful, shameful act also shows no respect for parents and in-laws who also suffer when adultery is committed—thereby breaking the Fifth Commandment (Exodus 20:12).



The Eighth Commandment has also been broken in that the affection, love and trust of someone else's spouse was stolen (verse 15).



And the Ninth Commandment is also broken because lying and deceit are involved (verse 16).



We see that at least six of the Ten Commandments are broken in adulterous acts—sometimes more, if the sinful act should lead to murder (verse 13) or taking God's name in vain (verse 7), which can be done when people try to justify their sin.



Adultery's Consequences

How can any adulterer ever be trusted on any issue? If so many of God's Ten Commandments are broken when adultery is committed, then adultery is a major trust factor. The guilty party has lost the trust of others, not just that of his wife or her husband.



As Jonathan Rauch put it: "An adulterer is a missile with many warheads, capable of wrecking a series of homes." How tragically true. Adultery has a wide-ranging ripple effect. It often leads to divorce, which in turn divides families. Not only are the husband and wife affected, but the children, any grandchildren, parents on both sides and even society at large.



A recent British survey on the reasons for divorce showed that adultery was the biggest reason by far, contributing to 31 percent of divorces (The Daily Mail, Jan. 26). Also, in Britain "it's an uncomfortable fact that 50 percent of divorced and separated fathers lose contact with their children after just two years" (Independent on Sunday, Feb. 15). No wonder Malachi 2:16 says that God hates divorce.



The verse continues with a strong warning to our nations: "Divorce ... covers one's garments with violence." Much of the violence in our society is the direct result of broken homes—often broken as a consequence of adultery.



God cared enough for Israel's greatest king that, after his act of adultery, which in turn led to deceit and murder, He sent the prophet Nathan to King David to help him face up to his sin and repent of it. "Why have you despised the commandment of the Lord, to do evil in His sight? You have killed Uriah the Hittite with the sword; you have taken his wife to be your wife ..."



The result? "Now therefore, the sword shall never depart from your house, because you have despised Me, and have taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your wife" (2 Samuel 12:9-10). Adultery has consequences that can last for generations.



No Exemptions to God's Commands

Not only politicians are guilty. Others who hold high office have fallen victim to this sin. This sadly includes religious leaders, who know better. They know the Word of God but sometimes fall into the trap of rationalizing that their supposed special relationship with God somehow protects or exempts them from the consequences of sin.



God doesn't see it that way. "The wages of sin is death," He inspired the apostle Paul to write (Romans 6:23). And "God shows no partiality" (Acts 10:34).



The same apostle listed the qualifications of a minister in his first epistle to the evangelist Timothy: "A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife ..." (1 Timothy 3:2). Adulterers should not be ordained to the ministry, and adultery is grounds for expulsion from the ministry. Ministers "must have a good testimony among those who are outside [of the church], lest [they] fall into reproach and the snare of the devil" (verse 7).



This is not to say that those who have committed adultery cannot repent and be forgiven. When the woman caught in the act of adultery (John 8) was brought before Jesus by religious zealots who wanted to see the full penalty of death carried out immediately, Jesus defended her by turning to her accusers and saying, "He who is without sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first" (verse 7).



Because no one was willing to self-righteously proclaim that he was without sin, everyone walked away. Then Jesus turned to the woman and said, "Go and sin no more" (verse 11). Although He defended her, He did not defend her sin, and He unequivocally told her never to sin again.



To those who have committed the sin of adultery, this passage should be encouraging. Jesus Christ paid the penalty for all human sin—but, on repentance, it is absolutely essential to cease the practice completely.



This is more easily said than done. Some have a habitual sexual addiction on a par with heroin or alcohol abuse. The sinner often needs help from others. The ministry or reliable and trusted personal friends can be of inestimable help, but in stubborn cases competent professional assistance should also be sought.



No one caught in the grip of sexual addiction should hesitate to seek help. Calling for assistance is a solid sign of a repentant attitude and a sincere desire to overcome. Those who are called on for assistance should never look down on anyone genuinely seeking help nor betray a confidence (Galatians 6:1-2).



Repentance Requires Change

Here lies good advice for anyone caught in the sin of adultery, even prominent people in our society. When this sinful act has been committed, trust has suffered. If that trust is to be regained, sincere repentance must be in evidence, as was the case with King David (2 Samuel 12:13). "A broken and a contrite heart—these, O God, You will not despise"—a quote from verse 17 of David's heartbroken prayer of repentance (Psalm 51).



Although world and national leaders may follow in the footsteps of Kings Charles II and Louis XIV, their deathbed repentances are not what God wants. It's no use living a sinful life while hoping to put things right later. God wants a change of heart now—not only for His sake, but for ourselves as well, individually and collectively.



Solomon wrote: "Righteousness exalts a nation, but sin is a reproach to any people" (Proverbs 14:34). It's difficult for other nations to take leaders seriously when they are surrounded by sordid rumors. Perhaps many have not really understood the seriousness of sexual misbehavior. Clearly, our current Western society takes infidelity far too lightly. This is all the more reason to heed the advice of the apostle Paul to the Athenians: "Truly, these times of ignorance God overlooked, but now commands all men everywhere to repent" (Acts 17:30).



The sooner leaders start living by the laws of God, the sooner they and those who naturally regard them as role models will become the kind of examples Jesus Christ described: "the light of the world" and "a city set on a hill ... Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven" (Matthew 5:14-16). GN







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Sex Outside of Marriage: What's the Big Deal?

From http://el-paso.ucg.org/  or call 1-888-886-8632.


Sex Outside of Marriage: What's the Big Deal?


The sexual revolution of the '60s encouraged us to liberate ourselves from old sexual taboos. Millions did. What have we learned?

by Noel Hornor

Of all the gifts God has given mankind, one of the most beautiful and meaningful is the gift of sexuality. Yet it's also one of the most abused.



Sex plays a vital part in God's plan for human beings. The first command recorded in the Bible that God gave to Adam and Eve was to have sexual relations (Genesis 1:28). He essentially repeated the command in Genesis 2:24-25: "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed."



One aspect that should leap out at us from verse 24 is that God created sex for marriage. But the 20th century brought dramatic changes in attitudes toward what is considered to be proper sexual behavior.



The sexual revolution of the '60s resulted in a drastic relaxation of sexual mores and—aided by easy availability of birth-control pills—created the notion that freewheeling sex had practically no consequences. The idea of sex with no repercussions led to slogans such as "If it feels good, do it!"



Advocates of sexual freedom said that, since sex is enjoyable, we should shed our inhibitions and jump in. What they didn't say, however, is that sex is never consequence-free, and sex outside of marriage is heavily laden with negative repercussions, especially for girls and women.



The audible furor that accompanied the sexual experimentation of the '60s is no longer as loud, but the revolution was successful in that to a considerable extent the extreme behaviors of that time are now commonplace.



The results have been monumental—and devastating in many countries. As former Harvard University professor Pitirim Sorokin observed about changes in sexual standards: "Any considerable change in marriage behavior, any increase in sexual promiscuity, and illicit relations, is pregnant with momentous consequences. A sex revolution drastically affects the lives of millions, deeply disturbs the community, and decisively influences the future of society" (The American Sex Revolution, 1956, p. 7).



The sexual revolution was not just an American phenomenon. Europe experienced its own upheaval. In fact, much of the world joined in throwing off sexual restraint. Why are millions of Africans infected with the AIDS virus? "The sexual revolution of the 1960s and 1970s in the West spread globally and penetrated Africa ... We know of many cases where young people, children really, are already sexually active" (Christianity Today, Feb. 7, 2000).



The shocking numbers

The level of premarital sexual activity in Western nations is extraordinary. Establishing exact data can be elusive, but one report states that the "median age of first intercourse for American boys [is] 15.5" and "for American girls [it is] 16" (S.I. McMillen, M.D., and David Stern, M.D., None of These Diseases, 2000, p. 141).



Circumstances are similar in Britain, where "the average age for both sexes to lose their virginity is 16" (The Observer, Dec. 2, 2001).



Premarital sexual activity among French girls is also extremely high. "Whereas it used to be the case that for 50 per cent of French women their first sexual partner would be the man they would marry, by the 1990s it was only true for 10 per cent" (Angus McLaren, Twentieth-Century Sexuality: A History, 1999, p. 212).



Although these figures are bad enough, even more shocking is the rampant promiscuity among so many. For example, among Britain's 16- to 24-year-olds, "19.7 percent of men and 14.6 percent of women have already had 10 or more partners" (The Guardian, Nov. 30, 2001).



The telling consequences

The consequences of premarital sexual involvement are damaging on many levels. On an emotional level they often include a profound sense of guilt, shame and regret.



During the '60s and '70s many young people were "liberated" to believe that one-night stands were not only acceptable but desirable. This dogma was badly flawed. Wendy Shalit describes how such an encounter can affect many a young woman: "A young girl spends 'the rest of the night crying and bleeding' after she loses her virginity to a guy she barely knew" (A Return to Modesty: Discovering the Lost Virtue, 1999, p. 57).



In recent years a new term, "hooking up," has sprouted on American college campuses for what used to be called "quickie" sexual interaction. A hookup may involve a range of intimate activities from kissing to forms of sex and usually involves alcohol. It is sex without commitment or emotional involvement, usually between people who know little if anything about each other and expect nothing more from each other than the gratification of that lone encounter.



According to a survey by the Institute for American Values, "40 percent of college women have hooked up at least once, and 10 percent more than six times" (Christian Century, Aug. 15, 2001). The empty ritual leaves many young women feeling used, disillusioned and burdened with emotional confusion.



Different motivations for sex

Whether the setting is a one-night stand or sex within a relationship, the pressure on young women to engage in illicit sex relations is intense. Premarital sexual involvement is perhaps most apt to occur when a couple begins dating steadily. Couples use various rationales to justify sex, such as "It's okay if you're in love," "Everybody's doing it" or "We need to sleep together before we get married so we can know if we are sexually compatible."



None of these rationalizations is realistic. It's important for young women to realize that their motives for having sex are often quite different from those of a man. Women often consider that intercourse will solidify a relationship with their partner, but to a young man it often represents something different—a coming of age or, in too many cases, simply another conquest. Males are constructed differently emotionally and psychologically and often pursue sex purely for pleasure's sake, with no thought to a relationship.



When a woman has a casual sexual relationship, later she will often regret it, especially when hopes for an enduring relationship are dashed. Her male partner may feel like a victor, but she often feels like a victim.



And indeed she is. If a girl dates someone whom she thinks is "the one," she usually does not enhance her chances of maintaining a relationship by giving in sexually.



Often, after he has had his way, he will simply discard her. Such an action demonstrates that he was not the one after all. If a man jilts a woman because she will not surrender sexually, she is not losing much. Such men are interested in using a woman's body for their own gratification rather than being interested in her as a person or pursuing a lifelong relationship.



Girls who take a stand and refuse to consent to sexual relations before marriage are wise. When they surrender their bodies in premarital sex, they lose a precious part of themselves that they can never regain.



By holding fast to her virginity, a girl will, in the long run, win the respect of many males. As a university student explained, "... In the real world, the more casual that women allow their physical relationships with men to become, the less respect they earn" (Danielle Crittenden, What Our Mothers Didn't Tell Us, 2000, p. 33).



Less-obvious consequences

Though in some respects a girl who experiments with premarital or extramarital sex may suffer more severely than a male who does so, men are also damaged by illicit sex. In addition to their own later feelings of guilt for having used young women, they often find it hard to build and maintain a long-term relationship with one other person.



Any sexual experimentation outside of marriage is a mistake. A man will never be the same in the sense that he has surrendered a part of himself that he should have reserved for his bride. Premarital sex may provide momentary gratification, but the result is a loss of the purity that God intended. Each conquest robs him of some of the care and tenderness he should be cultivating for just the right girl.



Much of the attraction of sex outside of marriage is based on its illicit nature. The attitude that "stolen water is sweet, and bread eaten in secret is pleasant" (Proverbs 9:17) has been around for a long time.



Sometimes couples find sex to be intense and gratifying before they marry but after marriage discover it is not as exciting to them. Once they have devalued their respect for each other through premarital sex before marriage, rarely can they find the same attraction and respect shared by couples who marry without premarital sex.



Many couples who have sex before marriage find that it actually dampens the feelings they have for each other and, as a result, dampens their long-term sexual enjoyment. Their violation of God's law in succumbing to premarital sexual activity removes some of the beauty and splendor their married sexual relations could have had.



There is another danger in succumbing to sexual temptation, even if getting married is your intent. The possibility always exists that you may for some reason decide against marrying this person. When this happens you have, through sexual involvement, given a part of yourself to someone other than your spouse, a part you should have saved for your future wife or husband.



When two people become "one flesh" in a sexual relationship (see 1 Corinthians 6:16), a bonding occurs between them. If, after they become sexually involved, one partner severs the relationship against the wishes of the other, the separation has a wrenching effect, especially for the jilted person, who is left feeling mentally and emotionally burned.



Sex counselors and schools push contraceptive devices as a means of assuring "safe sex," but no device can protect a person's heart. When the heart is assaulted, defensive patterns develop that will affect any future relationship.



Permanent injury

The hazards and negative consequences of adultery are numerous. Extramarital affairs also generally bring intense feelings of guilt and shame. When discovered—as affairs often are—the result is often permanent injury or destruction of the marriage, with severe damage to relationships between other family members and friends.



Some couples can put their marriages back together when one mate has had an affair, yet the infidelity inflicts a wound that is difficult if not impossible to heal. The betrayed wife or husband will likely never feel completely secure again. The quality of the marriage will suffer because trust has been violated. Even if the wound can heal, the scars remain.



Divorce proceedings are rarely cordial, but those that occur because of marital infidelity are among the most hostile. When sexual betrayal from one whose love was expected to last for life occurs, it creates bitterness and resentment that may never heal.



When children are involved, the two parties' lives generally remain interlocked because of visitation rights. In such cases there is no escaping the continuing hard feelings. When children sense the tensions and animosities, they are often emotionally scarred as a result (see "Divorce's Devastating Impact on Children," page 10).



The Bible states that premarital and extramarital sex are sin and therefore to be avoided completely. Why is God so adamant on this point? To protect us from the inevitable harmful consequences. Notice Paul's warning to Christians in the sex-saturated city of Corinth: "Run away from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body" (1 Corinthians 6:18, New Living Translation).



God created sex to be a blessing and benefit of a committed marriage. When you cheapen your body by giving it freely outside of marriage, you treat your body with disrespect.



In the King James and New King James versions of the Bible, sexual intercourse in the Old Testament is referred to as "knowing." Sexual relations within the context of a loving, committed marriage enable two people to know each other in the most intimate and personal way.



Loving sex in this context is deeply satisfying and creates a unifying of two lives. It is much more than simply the coupling of two bodies. The couple becomes one flesh as God intended (Genesis 2:24). The International Standard Bible Encyclopedia describes this kind of knowledge as "not just cognitive, but always experiential and deeply personal; and sexual intercourse is never just physiological, but always involves mystery and touches the whole person" (1988, Vol. 4, "Sex," p. 433).



It is partially the mystery about the opposite sex that makes relating to one another so special. That mystery is destroyed and lost forever when human beings hook up as casually as many species of animals do. Our sexuality is a gift God gave us. It is so special that it should be protected and saved for marriage as God intended. GN









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