Showing posts with label divorce. Show all posts
Showing posts with label divorce. Show all posts

Friday, May 6, 2016

"Send in the Moms!" (But Where Are the Dads?)

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A video of an angry mother beating her son for participating in Baltimore riots has been shown across the world. One television news station quipped: “Send in the moms!” as the solution to the rioting.
This raises a pertinent question: Where are the dads?
This is not just an African-American problem. School shootings are often the work of young white males.When young African-American males are killed by white policemen, too often it’s the mothers who are interviewed. If there is a male in the room, it’s likely a stepfather.
But it’s African-American families that suffer most from absentee fathers, though whites are not far behind.
In 2011, 72 percent of black children were born to unwed mothers.
In 2005, 39 percent of African-American children did not live with their biological father and a further 28 percent had no substitute father in the home. This means that two-thirds of African-American teenage boys have no father figure in their lives.
The strongest single predictor of whether a person will spend time in prison is lack of a father in the home. So it shouldn’t be surprising that a disproportionate percentage of our prison population is made up of black males. Without a strong father figure at home, boys are more likely to get into trouble, regardless of race.
Media coverage of this year’s riots gives the world the impression that America is an inherently racist society. How can this be, when Indians, all fairly recent immigrants from India, now have a per capita income higher than whites? They are dark-skinned but do well. Chinese and Japanese Americans are also more successful than whites.
The difference is the family structure. These three ethnic groups have a strong family structure. As one Indian told me when I was visiting India, “It’s unthinkable for an Indian man to desert his family!”
But we shouldn’t blame all of this on African-American adult males. They must take their share of the blame–babies born out of wedlock are the result of fornication, which the Bible condemns as sin (1 Corinthians 6:18).
But blame also falls elsewhere.
Although the numbers of black couples living together in a traditional family had been falling gradually with every census from 1880 to 1960, the numbers took a dramatic dive with the 1970 census.
The reason for this lies at least partially in a well-intentioned government program.
In 1965, LBJ’s “War on Poverty” set out to improve the lot of mothers, who soon found they were better off being taken care of by Uncle Sam than their husbands.
It wasn’t long before fathers and husbands disappeared from millions of households, if the couples had even bothered to marry at all.
The end result is the level of violence we see in our inner cities, including the recent rioting.
God warned us of this: “For the Lord God of Israel says that He hates divorce, for it covers one’s garment with violence” (Malachi 2:16).
There’s a connection between broken homes and violence in the streets. The solution to the street problems begins in the homes of America.

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Friday, March 6, 2015

World News and Trends: President promotes perversion

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World News and Trends: President promotes perversion


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LGBT is an acronym that stands for "lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender." You'll probably be seeing it more often in the coming months, especially after U.S. President Barack Obama declared June 2009 "Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Pride Month" for the United States.

LGBT is an acronym that stands for "lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender." You'll probably be seeing it more often in the coming months, especially after U.S. President Barack Obama declared June 2009 "Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Pride Month" for the United States.
"LGBT Americans have made, and continue to make, great and lasting contributions that continue to strengthen the fabric of American society," his proclamation stated. "I am proud to be the first President to appoint openly LGBT candidates to Senate-confirmed positions in the first 100 days of an Administration. These individuals embody the best qualities we seek in public servants . . . The LGBT rights movement has achieved great progress, but there is more work to be done."
The president went on to explain his intent to promote such causes, declaring, "My Administration has partnered with the LGBT community to advance a wide range of initiatives." He listed international efforts to decriminalize homosexuality and domestic efforts to strengthen hate crimes laws, support for homosexual civil unions and adoption rights, outlawing workplace discrimination and ending the U.S. military's "don't ask, don't tell" policy.
"During LGBT Pride Month, I call upon the LGBT community, the Congress, and the American people to work together to promote equal rights for all, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity," his proclamation continued.
Not surprisingly, we find no mention in the proclamation of a biblical perspective, though it isn't hard to find in the Bible. God's view is easily discerned in Leviticus:18:22; 20:13; Romans:1:24-28; 1 Corinthians:6:9-10 and Deuteronomy:22:5.
An ongoing lament throughout the Bible is God's sorrow over leaders who reject Him, leading their people astray. Particularly poignant in this instance is Isaiah:3:9-12: "They declare their sin as Sodom; they do not hide it. Woe to their soul! For they have brought evil upon themselves ... O My people! Those who lead you cause you to err, and destroy the way of your paths" (emphasis added).
The people of America (and the same goes for any other nation) will surely rue the day they "call evil good, and good evil" (Isaiah:5:20). (Source: White House presidential proclamation, June 1, 2009.)
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Tuesday, January 27, 2015

This Is the Way... A Walk In the Snow: Character Counts In a Nation's Leaders

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This Is the Way... A Walk In the Snow: Character Counts In a Nation's Leaders



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Today, during and after the recent impeachment hearings and trial, there is talk of "compartmentalization"—the notion that all the parts of one's life do not necessarily have to connect, that moral character and job competency do not have to be in one man. This is simply not the original American equation of republican ideal and it is certainly not biblically founded.

Historical episodes are much like a snowfield. Someone has to go first through the dual challenge of wonderment and danger. There comes a time in the human experience in which people, tribes and nations are confronted with this proverbial field of snow. I would like to share with you one man's walk in the snow on behalf of his nation. But before I do, let's understand who lays the field before us.
Long ago, God stated to Abraham that, "in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed"(Genesis:12:3). It is to be understood that first and foremost this is speaking of spiritual salvation for all humanity through the birth of Abraham's descendant, Jesus Christ. But there is also an added aspect of historical note regarding the physical descendants of Abraham that should be considered. It is found in Genesis:48:19. In speaking of Abraham's grandchildren, the Bible says, "He also shall become a people, and he also shall be great; but truly his younger brother shall be greater than he, and his descendants shall become a multitude of nations."
This verse spells out a prophetic blessing upon Abraham's descendants that defines a role of historical greatness.These verses speak of a people who would become "great" and a kindred people who would become a "multitude of nations." We see spelled out verses that depict the modern rise of the special relationship communities of the United States (Manasseh) and the famous alliance of nations known as the British Commonwealth (Ephraim).
But greatness does not just occur. God utilizes men and women throughout human history to bring about His will and purpose. God intervenes in the human chronicle through the hearts and minds of people. Romans:13:1 exemplifies God's finger on the pulse of history by stating, "For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God."
Throughout the biblical narrative we think of Pharaoh, Nebuchadnezzar, Cyrus, Tiberius and Herod. What about George Washington? No, he is not biblically mentioned by name, but can we consider that he was directly used by God? Was he "appointed" by God to a role in His plan of establishing the "greatness" of modern day Manasseh? A "greatness" that would be molded by his personal walk through the historical fresh snow laid before him at the dawn of the American Revolution? Let's peek back in history and understand the tracks that Washington laid for future generations to follow.
The Man Behind the Picture
Today, many people when confronted with George Washington, think of the man with the stern face painted by Gilbert Stuart that appears on America's one dollar bills. As a landed gentleman, he would become first a general and later the first president of the United States. This is indeed a limiting picture, and to limit Washington is to limit ourselves. Rather than being stuck with the visual picture of the colonnades of Mt. Vernon, let's understand that Washington was born in humbler surroundings, being born into a much lower rung of Virginia gentry. We might say towards the bottom.
At his father's early death, in accordance with the British custom, most of the inheritance of family domain went to his half-brother Lawrence. Washington's formal education was over at age 15. But he did an amazing thing. He wrote out a collection of European maxims which he titled "The Rules of Civility and Decent Behavior in Company and Conversation." This exercise would instill in him a moral fabric in relating to other human beings. It would be his shining star to guide him. This is not too unlike the writing exercise the ancient kings of Israel were to perform. The instruction of Deuteronomy:17:18-20 states, "Also it shall be, when he sits on the throne of his kingdom, that he shall write for himself a copy of this law in a book, from the one before the priests, the Levites. And it shall be with him, and he shall read it all the days of his life, that he may learn to fear the Lord his God and be careful to observe all the words of this law and these statutes, that his heart may not be lifted above his brethren, that he may not turn aside from the commandment to the right hand or to the left, and that he may prolong his days in his kingdom, he and his children in the midst of Israel."
God's law was more than just rules for rules' sake, but more about relationships. Relationships that would not separate men, but bring them together on the equal plane of "brethren." Washington's list is in no way holy writ, but it contains a lot of wisdom pertaining to personal dealings with others. Let's read a few of the rules he wrote:
"In the presence of others, sing not to yourself with a humming noise, nor drum with your fingers or feet." "Sleep not when others speak, sit not when others stand, speak not when you should hold your peace, walk not on when others stop." My favorite is, "Spit not in the fire, nor stoop low before it, neither put your hands into the flames to warm them, nor set your feet upon the fire especially if there be meat before it."
What is interesting is the sense of value placed on outgoing concern towards others. These "proverbs" of the classical era would offer Washington a sensitized moral compass of "justice, judgment and equity;" as mentioned in the Bible and offer "to the young man knowledge and discretion-A wise man will hear and increase learning"(Proverbs:1:4-5). At a time when colonial America was still inventing itself, this young man was likewise self-examining and personally inventive. He recognized that if he were to succeed and be a person of worth he would have to establish standards and values. Values that would work later in life for him-recognizing that you do not find your values in a trial or situation, but you take them into the arena with you. The common self invention of the man and the nation would cross paths on the snow field of history 40 years down the line.
Prepared For Future Battles
As a young man, Washington had burning ambition and a self-importance that moved him through the ranks of the colonial militia. His time spent in the French and Indian War would both prepare him for future battle and place a curb on his ego, as he experienced both triumph and failure. After the war, he married well, having taken Martha Custis to wife. At the outbreak of the Revolutionary War, he became commander of the Continental Army. As an interesting part of focused leadership, he had the Declaration of Independence read aloud to every soldier so that he might know what was at stake.
This would be very important in the bumpy road to independence from the British Empire. Early on, he would be chased from Brooklyn, lose Manhattan, flee across New Jersey, and pick up a couple of victories at Princeton and Trenton. But always his biggest victory would be keeping the army together. Imagine an army composed of merchants, farmers, backwoodsmen, including every ethnic and racial group in America (still in some cases speaking their native tongue), all from 13 different sovereign states. Yankees from New England, Dutch from New York, Germans from Pennsylvania, Scots-Irish from the South, Swedes from Delaware, and African-Americans seeking a piece of the dream for liberty .
But all this would come to a grinding halt in the snows of Valley Forge, Pennsylvania, in the winter of 1777. Washington despaired, "The game will be pretty well up!" The British General Howe was outside Philadelphia, Congress had fled to Baltimore, and there before him in the snow was the sight of "men, without clothes, to cover their nakedness; without blankets to lay on; without shoes, by which their marches might be traced, by the blood from their feet." His army had shrunk to 3,000 men, and more were deserting daily. What had happened to that bright and wondrous picture of liberty? What had happened to the pure and glistening wonderment of government not based upon birth, but government based upon personal ability?
Like the snow, Washington now had to step out and make tracks where no man had gone before. Encouragement would come from a young, French nobleman, the Marquis de Lafayette. It is said that at one particularly low point the Marquis reminded his general that "the eyes of Europe are upon you!" Every step was being watched, every footprint in the snow was being analyzed by a world which had never known anything other than kings, emperors, czars and khans. Proverbs:29:18 says, "Where there is no vision, the people perish." Sometimes we need to remind one another exactly "why are we here?" In his book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Steven Covey calls it "beginning with the end in mind." Herbert Armstrong called it "keeping the big picture." Remember, you don't find your values in a trial, you take them in with you. First Corinthians 3:13 vividly reminds us, "Each one's work will become clear: for the Day will declare it, because it will be revealed by fire; and the fire will test each one's work, of what sort it is."
The Most Famous Man in the World
The "greatness factor" of this one man's personal walk through the snow was yet to come a few years down the line. It came in 1783. The war was won and the long drawn-out peace accord was finally ratified. What Washington did next would astound the world. He simply got off his horse and went home to his beloved Mt. Vernon. This made him the most famous man in the world. The greatest victory he accomplished was letting go of power. This had rarely been done before. The snow was fresh and Washington carefully and surely laid a great print for others to follow. He was the modern day Cincinnatus, the Latin farmer of Roman lore. According to history as it comes down to us, Cincinnatus had victoriously defended Rome against her enemies at her gate and was invited to become ruler. But, he went back to his farm saying only that he had done his duty. What would you have done?
In English history, having disposed of King Charles, Oliver Cromwell stayed on his horse at the head of the New Model Army and became Lord Protector. Napoleon a few years down the line would stay on his horse and go from being "first citizen of the republic" to Emperor. In the course of the American Revolution as sole commander, Washington had outlasted eight presidents of the Continental Congress. On December 23, 1783, at Annapolis, Maryland, Washington ceremoniously handed back to the president of Congress the parchment commission he had received in Philadelphia on June 15, 1775. He had never lost the vision. For this man, giving up power was more ennobling than winning a war. It is said that King George III asked the American painter Benjamin West what General Washington was likely to do when peace came. Would he stay with the army, would he become head of state? West replied, "Washington will probably return home to his farm." King George responded, "If Washington does that, he will become the most famous man in the world."
Rather than merely comparing Washington's example to Cincinnatus, let's focus on Christ's words in Matthew:20:25-28. "But Jesus called them to Himself and said, "You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and those who are great exercise authority over them. Yet it shall not be so among you; but whoever desires to become great among you, let him be your servant. And whoever desires to be first among you, let him be your slave-just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many."
Whether or not Washington fully recognized it, he was following someone else's tracks that had been laid out long before his.
For the remainder of his life, George Washington realized he would have incredible responsibility in how he conducted himself and used his fame and notoriety. He would be called on again and again to "walk through the snow." In 1785, two years after the final peace treaty had been signed, with the country tottering in its disunited infancy under the Articles of Confederation, he stated, "I can foresee no evil greater than disunion." Here were 13 loosely confederated states of America now more afraid of one another than the nearby lingering shadow of the British Empire. How could they ever unite? As he would state, "the fate of unborn millions" would rest on their deliberations. Here was an individual of growth and invention that would spend his life in transformation from a British subject, to a man of the South from Virginia, to a Nationalist.
Character Does Count
But as all the wrinkles were slowly ironed away at Philadelphia's Constitutional Convention, a lingering nerve of contention remained before the delegates. Having cast off (in Colonial eyes) a tyrant, would they ever again dare invest authority in an executive power? Washington's powerful life example spoke louder than any good arguments. It would not be by his grasp for power or intellectual wit that he would ascend to the presidency—but simply by "quiet tracks in the snow" laid over a lifetime.
Pierce Butler, of South Carolina, thought the president's powers were "full, great, and greater than I was disposed to make them. Nor do I believe they would have been so great had not many of the members cast their eyes towards General Washington as President; and shaped their ideas of the Powers to be given a President by their opinions of his virtue." From the beginning America's concept of the presidency, was the idea of virtue—let's put it plainly—character. The standard would be—not simply what you do—but what you are. This was the only way a young and frightened nation could come to terms with trusting an executive leader. Washington's lifetime of self invention based upon his "Rules of Civility" had served him and the nation well.
Today, during and after the recent impeachment hearings and trial, there is talk of "compartmentalization"—the notion that all the parts of one's life do not necessarily have to connect, that moral character and job competency do not have to be in one man. This is simply not the original American equation of republican ideal and it is certainly not biblically founded. Notice the power of cause and effect as outlined in Proverbs:29:2: "When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice, but when a wicked man rules, the people groan."
Washington's stepping off his horse, and later his stepping away from the executive office after his second term, set forever the mode of America's greatness of being gallant enough to conquer the problems that lay in her path, but also to have the ability to muster the "right stuff" and go back home when the task was accomplished.
Snow is a wondrous attraction. So are the revolutions of history. What appears wondrous can take a sharp turn towards disaster. Many revolutions would follow the American experiment. Hope would turn to despair as tyrants of royal blood would be replaced with demagogues with radical blood flowing in their veins. Much of Latin America would devolve for nearly two centuries into military dictatorships. The great revolutions of France and Russia would go through stages of moderation to radicalism-ending with much of their citizenry losing their lives, because of the lack of a galvanizing example of moderation like Washington's. Imagine a "modern day Manasseh" whose civilians would report to the military or whose chief executive maintained total power for a lifetime. Then, think again of one man's influence as he walked in the snow for a nation to follow. WNP
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Wednesday, September 17, 2014

How can I control my anger when I get frustrated and stressed by my kids?

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How can I control my anger when I get frustrated and stressed by my kids?





Few relationships can produce more challenges and frustrations than the parent-child relationship. What can we do when love and anger collide in the family? Here are some parenting tips.


Answer: Even the most loving parents will experience anger every now and then toward their children. However, uncontrolled anger can affect your ability to make good decisions as well as maintain a positive relationship with your son or daughter.
Allowing yourself to "blow up" at your child can be very harmful if it occurs repeatedly. In your anger, you may say things that frighten your child or affect his or her self-esteem, or you could even physically harm him or her. Uncontrolled anger also provides an inappropriate role model for your child by teaching him or her that anger outbursts are acceptable.
It can be difficult to control yourself when you become angry. However, the Bible tells us that a wise person maintains self-control. Proverbs:29:11 states, "A fool vents all his feelings, but a wise man holds them back." Also, Ecclesiastes:7:9 says, "Do not hasten in your spirit to be angry, for anger rests in the bosom of fools."
What can we do when we get mad at our kids? Below are several parenting tips that will assist us in managing our anger.

Pause for a moment.

When you feel yourself becoming angry, it is wise to pause before you say or do anything. This pause could consist of merely taking a deep breath or slowly counting to 10. Pausing can help you to address the situation calmly instead of in a fit of anger.
During this pause quickly think about the circumstances and try to determine what is really happening. Is your anger a reaction to your child's behavior? Or is something else bothering you such as work stress, tiredness or other problems? Has your son or daughter intentionally tried to hurt or disobey you, or is his or her behavior typical for a child of that age? Is this your problem, your child's problem or both?

Take a parental or child time-out.

In situations where you are very angry, realize that it will take some time to cool off. Time-outs model an appropriate way to handle anger. It can be good for your child to see you get angry and demonstrate a socially acceptable way to deal with these feelings.
You may even tell your child that "Mother is angry and needs a time-out." Don't tell your child that you are angry because he or she is stupid or bad, for such labeling is not healthy for your child's self-esteem. Your time-out could even involve stress-reducing activities such as walking, punching a pillow in private, taking a bath or talking to your spouse or a friend about the situation.
Instead of a parental time-out, you may also opt for a time-out for your child as part of his or her punishment. While your son or daughter is sitting in the corner, you will also have time to cool off and decide the best course of action.

Resolve to never strike your child in anger.

Never discipline your kids when you are angry and unable to control your feelings. While spanking in an appropriate manner is supported in Scripture, it is unwise to spank your child while you are angry. You could accidentally bruise him or her by spanking too hard. This could lead to your child being taken from your home by social services.
If at any time you feel the urge to strike your child, get out of the room as soon as possible. If your child is too young to leave alone for a few minutes, be sure to put him or her in the crib or a playpen or have someone else watch your child. Older children should just be told that you are angry and need a time-out. Stay away until you have calmed down. Pray for God to help you to control your anger and respond in a godly manner.

Form plans for how you will react.

Determine how you want to respond to your child or the problem. Your plan should take into account what you want him or her to learn from this, as well as how to prevent this misbehavior from happening again.
If your child has been told that he or she would be punished for this misbehavior, it is important that you follow through with your word. Children need to learn that there are consequences to their actions. If you have not set formal rules for this misbehavior, plan how you will do it now. Put together a list of family rules, and state the consequences for not following the rules. You may want to consult various parenting books for ideas about methods of discipline that may prove to be effective for your child.

Act and don't react to the situation.

After you have cooled off, analyzed the situation and determined the best plan of action, it is time to act. Your actions must be calm and loving. If you punish your child, be sure that you also explain exactly why he or she is receiving a punishment. As always, tell your child that the discipline is to help him or her and is a consequence of his or her misbehavior.
To raise an emotionally well-developed child, it is important to show unconditional love. For example, tell your son or daughter, "I still love you, even though I am now angry about your misbehavior." It is also important to hug your child and reassure him or her after you have punished him or her for misbehaving.
Anger is a God-given emotion. It can even be used to correct wrong or evil and set things right, as in the case where Christ was angry (Matthew:21:12-14). But God also tells us, "A quick-tempered man acts foolishly" (Proverbs:14:17).
The relationship that you have with your children can be one of life's greatest blessings. If you want to be wise in your responsibility of caring for them, learn to manage your anger. You both will be happier when you are in control of your emotions.
Linda LaBissoniere, M.Ed., licensed counselor

Friday, May 30, 2014

Search the Scriptures

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Search the Scriptures





The Berean form of Bible study applies to every student of the Bible - no matter how long we have been studying.


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[Darris McNeely] God's Word, the Bible – when you open this pages and study the Bible, do you bring your bias, any of your prejudices, to your study of the Word? Something to think about. In Acts:17:11, during the travels of the apostle Paul, we find him coming into the city of Berea. He's just had to be run out of the city of Thessalonica, and he goes on down the road, and he encounters a group of believers and serious students of the scriptures in the city of Berea. And here's what it says – a well-known passage: "The brethren immediately sent Paul and Silas away, and they went by night to Berea. There in Berea, these were more fair-minded than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all readiness and searched the scriptures daily to find out whether these things were so."
They searched the scriptures on a daily basis in Berea, and these believers here lent their name to a very serious student of the Bible who would daily open up the passages of the scriptures and study to see what they meant. It's interesting to look at what this word "searched" means. It comes from a Greek word anihcrino ( anakrino , anakrinontes - Strongs NT 350 ) and it means to search in an investigative manner, in a critical manner, without bias, without prejudice. And that's really what marked – was the hallmark of these people in Berea, when they searched the scriptures daily to prove whether the things that Paul taught them were true.
As we search the scriptures, as we listen to what people say about the Bible, this is a very valuable lesson for all of us at all times, no matter how long we've been studying the Bible, and no matter how well we think we know the Bible, to take this particular point to heart. And as we daily search the scriptures, do it without bias, without prejudice. In that way, we can go deeper, we can continually learn and grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ, and all that the Bible has to offer us in the riches of spiritual wisdom and understanding.
Be a Berean. Do it without bias. Study God's Word. Search those scriptures daily, without prejudice. And be assured of spiritual growth and understanding of what God's way tells us.
That's BT Daily . Join us next time.

Thursday, May 29, 2014

How to Fight Back Against What #YesAllWomen Deal With Everyday

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How to Fight Back Against What #YesAllWomen Deal With Everyday





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A sickening tragedy has resulted in a tremendous online hashtag campaign to bring to light the outrageous daily misogyny that women (yes, all women ) face from men.
There are 7 people dead, including the gunman, in a case of an unstable man whose twisted expectations of what he deserved to get from women went on a killing spree in retribution.
I could lament the societal conditions that have contributed to something like this even being possible (sex sells after all, and the cultural expectation to be able to "experiment" in your college with promiscuity has been cemented for decades), but instead I just want to give three things we can do individually that can positively impact our own worlds.

1. Don't take part in the objectification of women

Pornography is the most obvious form of objectification (from the most hardcore end of the spectrum to the "leering laddie" end), but it can be more subtle than that, too. For instance, this woman explains that she apologizes when not wearing make-up —as if her value is contingent upon her looks. I'm not certain what my response would be if a woman were to say that to me (I'd like to think that I'd protest her apology), but from now on I'll make sure my reaction reinforces her value above what she looks like.

2. Make it a point to compliment women on things other than their looks

Female family members and friends of mine have explained this to me before, and it makes a lot of sense. Our cultural tendency is to compliment girls from a super young age on how pretty they are, often leaving aside other accomplishments they may make. A lifetime of these compliments on both a macro and micro scale throughout our society would serve to reinforce those values; people tend to live up to the expectations that are set for them (which is why you see generational cycles, such as the cycle of poverty or the cycle of spousal abuse).
So make it a point not to follow that norm. Compliment young girls on their talents in school, their interest in reading or biology or astrophysics or LEGO. The way I think about this is, everybody else in the world will be continually telling them they're pretty, so there's lots of room for me to compliment the girls I know on anything else.
And when it comes to adults, whether it be strangers or friends, make your compliments (you are complimenting your friends regularly, right?) large in variety. Learn when to compliment on appearance, which is important, but learn how to do it well, at the correct time, and never at the expense of other genuine accolades.

3. Speak up if somebody you know expresses misogynistic attitudes

My mom is excellent at speaking up when somebody starts badmouthing another person in their absence (she always speaks up with praise about that person in their defense); doing so with specific regard to misogynistic attitudes is another small way to help counteract those attitudes in our own circles. If you're a guy hanging out with your bros at the pub and the conversation turns to women, speak up against any attitudes you may detect that objectifies or disrespects women. You may lose bro points or be the odd man out that night, but honestly, the sign of true manhood is the ability and willingness to stand up for what you believe in despite peer pressure.
Christians are expected to do this kind of behavior in everything they do (Ephesians:4:15).

4. Do all these things out of love

I said I was only listing three things, but the fourth one is kind of the underlying foundational thing to remember all the time anyway. The motivation for everything we do as a Christian is love. God loved us so much that His son died for our shortcomings in order that we may live forever (John:3:16, 1 Peter:2:23). Every human being is destined for that glorious life. Paul even wrote that being a Christian erases our physical distinctions, spiritually speaking (Galatians:3:26-28 explains why racism and bigotry is un-Christian, and likewise why degrading women is also ungodly).
So as a child of God, each woman is worthy of respect and honor. Us men must take it upon ourselves to protect that honor and respect. Both passively by not contributing to the culture of objectification but also actively by standing up against those attitudes when we see them. More specifically, we must treat the women we know and love (friends, family, spouses) with that respect and dignity as if Jesus Christ Himself were standing there listening to and watching our conduct.
#YesAllWomen deserve honor, dignity and respect. Let's do our part to give them what they deserve.

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Vertical News: Parents Hiring Coaches to Teach Kids Basic Skills

From http://el-paso.ucg.org/  or call 1-888-886-8632. Please follow on twitter here: https://twitter.com/UCGElPaso.


Vertical News: Parents Hiring Coaches to Teach Kids Basic Skills





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Trend sees parents outsourcing their teaching role to skilled coaches.

child on bicycle
Source: freeimages.com/joejoe77
Day-care has long been a norm for many families. Sometimes out of necessity, sometimes not, and its success is disputed. Now it seems additional parental duties are being outsourced to non-family “experts.” A growing trend has emerged for “coaches” who teach children everything from riding a bike to potty-training. For bike riding lessons it will cost $90 U.S. for a session with a qualified expert. Everything has a price! (Cheryl K. Chumley, “American Exceptionalism Is Officially Dead: Coaches Hired to Teach Kids to Ride Bikes,” The Washington Times at WashingtonTimes.com, May 21, 2014).
The reasoning goes that parents simply don’t have the time or skills to teach such things and the children will suffer if they don’t learn them from someone, or anyone, really. Interestingly, it isn’t a new phenomenon, having become a part of the culture since the mid 2000’s (Polly Leider, “Outsourcing Messier Parts of Parenting,” CBS News at CBSNews.com, April 17, 2006). But it’s been around longer than that. Historically, tutors on various subjects were a common standard for those with the affluence to afford them, and many upper-class families had nannies to raise children from babyhood to the teenage years. However, the cost to society was a number of dysfunctional familial norms arising from such a system, including, at the very least, alienation between children and parents.
Does the Bible support outsourcing of parental roles? The book of Deuteronomy has some helpful instruction regarding this subject. Speaking of God’s Law, “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up,” (Deuteronomy:6:6-7, NKJV).
There’s a clear expectation of daily, even hourly parental involvement in the lives of children. Some of which may have occurred in an agricultural society where parents and children worked side-by-side. However, this is a dynamic of communication that was cultivated and commanded by God. Though we struggle for perfect fulfillment, the goal of a teaching, loving, actively communicating family environment is vital.

Thursday, May 8, 2014

The Right Ratios

From http://el-paso.ucg.org/  or call 1-888-886-8632. Please follow on twitter here: https://twitter.com/UCGElPaso.




The Right Ratios




Life consists of the things we do and the ability to wait for our actions to bear fruit.

Sometimes the actions take the forefront of our lives and sometimes all we can do is wait. Always, we are faced with determining what to do and when to wait. If we learn the right ratio, we can be successful or fruitful. The farmer does his work with care and perseverance and then waits for the growth that comes from the rain (James:5:7). Sometimes it may seem like there is only work, but when the seed is in place, the seed and the farmer wait for the rain. Life gives us the balance between action and patient endurance.
In all we do, action and work precedes the fruits. In all we do, we also come to the time where we simply wait. The ratio between action and endurance may vary, but in that lies the probability of a good result. Paul noted the capstone of life when he wrote, "Eternal life to those who by patient continuance in doing good, seek for glory, honor and immortality" (Romans:2:7).