The Backstory to "5 Keys to a Happy Marriage"

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The Backstory to "5 Keys to a Happy Marriage"

by Jerold Aust

 My first thought in writing "5 Keys to a Happy Marriage " was that I didn't want to duplicate my previous articles. I deliberately chose a simplistic thesis and five practical points that apply to marriage. Here's the backstory to "5 Keys to a Happy Marriage ."

The article is based on my marriage of 49 years and a combination of marriage counselings that I conducted over decades.



Point number one highlights the differences between infatuation and true love. Dr. Pat Love ( The Truth About Love, 2001) wrote a groundbreaking book about the stepwise progression from infatuation, to post-rapture, to true love. Many married couples don't know these naturally occurring steps in a marriage, otherwise you wouldn't hear this lament: "I think I just fell out of love."



Next I added three endearing responses that I've used over the years in our marriage: "Please," "I'm sorry," and "Thank you." These might seem inconsequential, but they can make a big difference in your marriage. Universally men assume they're weak to verbalize these thoughts. The opposite is true: Real men lead with humility. Jesus did (Philippians 2:2-8).



Good marital communication says, "I care." I learned this in my graduate communication studies. If you were in our home, you would hear me say, "I hear you," "I'm listening," or "I understand," not because I'm bored, but because I want to confirm that I'm listening.



Patience sustains life (Luke 21:19In your patience possess ye your souls.



See All...). Understanding patience turns the corner from the excitement of infatuation to the deliberate application of true love (Ephesians 5:25Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;



See All...). The love cocktail brings a man and woman together, but honeymoons don't last forever. The honeymoon automatically transitions into the reality of everyday living, where we accept shortcomings once overlooked. Marriage, like life, advises this axiom: Growing older includes growing up.



Reviving one's marriage is vitally important. Some couples do this easily: They go dancing, go to athletic events, the gym, a movie, or plan a date once a week.



A happy marriage is directly related to personal sacrifice. "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ" (Ephesians 5:21Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.



See All...). God's marriage plan works. We must work His plan to reap the benefits.



Thanks for reading and applying the godly principles of The Good News . May your marriage be as happy as God intended!







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